The Chances You Take
Generally, I didn’t mind taking the tube but I’d got out of the wrong side of bed this morning and it was packed. Or should I say I got out of the wrong side of someone else’s bed? As it turned out the girl was hot but I could see right through her, she was interested in me because of
what I was and not
who I was. So I sat there on the tube watching businessmen bark orders into their phone, students being noisy and telling tales of their drunken and debauched nights out, people reading The Metro to pass the time as they set off for another day at a job they probably didn’t enjoy. By the time it got to St James’s Park, there wasn’t room to breathe let alone move and I looked at my watch realising I was late for the studio. I quickly pulled my phone out of my pocket calling Gaz and telling him I was on my way but I’d been held up.
“No worries mate, we’ll just sit here and wait cos it’s not like this studio time is costing us money or anything. Actually what am I saying, I take it you got a shag last night and clearly that’s far more important” he said deadpan.
“Gaz?”
“Yeah mate”
“Piss off”
With that I put the phone back in my pocket and sat back stretching out my legs a bit as we got to Sloane Square and most people had or were leaving the carriage. My head fell back against the window and I closed his eyes, I was almost nodding off when two voices seemed to catch my attention. Slowly opening one eye I caught a quick glimpse of the two women sat across the other side of the carriage.
“Hiya Cassie! Long time no see hun”
“Oh my God, Alison! How are you?”
Watching as they hugged, the biggest grin appeared on their faces, then I realised I was also smiling and staring too, my mum had taught me it was rude to stare but the girl with the brown hair and infectious laugh had caught my eye. Shifting slightly I tried to focus in on their conversation without being too obvious.
“Couldn’t be better, I got promoted at work I’m PA to Mr James now”
“I know how much you wanted that, you must be thrilled”
“Yeah I’m really happy, now if I can find a hot man with some brains and a smidgen of manners I’d be good to go!”
“Yeah tell me if you find one, it’s like finding a needle in a haystack round here!”
“You still at Waterstone’s?”
“Yeah but they moved me to the one at Notting Hill gate. Listen we’re having a girls night out on Friday, how about you join us?”
“I’d love to, this is my stop but I’ll call you for the details ok?”
“Ok hun, see you later!”
The other girl got off at South Kensington leaving the hot girl on her own. She looked like she was in her early 30’s, long flowing brown hair and gorgeous piercing eyes. A few seconds later she looked up and caught my eye, giving a slight smile before burying her head back in her book. What the hell I had nothing to lose, so I got up and was about to approach her when there was a jolt that made me lose my balance and I stumbled not being quick enough to grab onto the rail and ending up in some guys lap.
“Oooh I always pray for a hottie to fall into my lap but I had no idea my prayers were being heard! If you wanted a feel you only had to ask!” the man nodded to where my hand was now pressed against his crotch and gave him a wiggle of his eyebrows. I didn’t know where to look and as I quickly got up and turned around, the woman had stood up and was getting ready to step out of the carriage. It was too late and she was gone. Between then and High Street Kensington the man I had accidentally groped kept looking up giving flirty smiles and raising his eyebrow. I could tell I was being checked out and shifted uncomfortably in the seat waiting for the carriage to come to a stop before getting up, not wanting to risk an accident again! About to step out the carriage the man pinched my arse and stuck a card in my back pocket, copping a feel whilst doing so and shouted at me to call him in what have been the campest voice I’d ever heard in my life and I’d heard a lot of camp voices! Reaching the exit I saw it was raining “bloody great” I muttered before turning up the collar on my jacket. Leaving the station and turning right setting off along the street to Whole Foods, I knew I was late but what difference was an extra 20 minutes going to make. Stopping at the cake section I picked up some brownies and muffins for the lads and a few flapjacks for myself, hoping that the cakes would stop them giving me a hard time for being late. I was slightly wet from the rain but thankfully when I got outside again it had stopped and looked safe to walk to the studio, two minutes later the heavens opened and I carried on walking, mumbling to about the weather. All thoughts returned to the woman on the tube, just as I was picturing her face and getting ready to cross the road a taxi swung round the corner and drove through the biggest puddle known to man which had covered me from head to toe. By the time I got to the studio I looked like someone had been at me with a hose pipe and dragged me through a hedge backwards.
“What the hell happened to you?” Howard sniggered as Jason peeled off his coat and jumper. “You look like you’ve been through one of those car wash’s with the big brushes!”
“What happened to me?! The tube was bloody packed, there was a hot girl on there...I was about to talk to her when there was a jolt and I fell over”
Mark sniggered and Gary tried his best not to laugh, watching as Jason bent over to undo his soggy shoe laces something fell out of his pocket.
“I know you had a date last night but are you paying for it now?” Gary asked with a raised eyebrow?
“What?” I snatched the card from him and realised it was the one the scary guy had stuck in my pocket on the tube; apparently he was a gay escort of some kind. “Yeah that was the next part of my story, I fell over into this guy’s lap and he took a shine to me, it might have had something to do with the fact that I groped him but hey, this day couldn’t get any worse right?”
“I don’t suppose so, why were you groping a gay guy on the tube?” Mark asked.
“I wasn’t!! And you’re wrong it did get worse. I got bloody soaked in the rain, and then some moronic cab driver went through a puddle which I got the brunt of...”
“Hang on, you’ve been to Whole Foods” Gary nodded to the now soggy bag which had been placed on the table.
“Yes I went to get us some cakes and I know that I was late so I should have come straight here, are you not listening to a word I’m saying. Don’t piss me off anymore than I already am!”
“Right whatever. So the cakes, are they still edible or what?”
“Gaz look at me, I’m soaked through, and my shoes appear to be leaking...fucking Converse!” I almost spat, trying to get the knots out of the laces which I could almost ring the water from.
“Hey don’t insult the world’s greatest footwear because you’re pissed off!” Howard frowned.
“I got hit on buy some scary gay guy, the hot woman on the train probably thinks I’m an idiot and...”I reached into the whole foods bag “my flapjack’s gone all limp and soggy” I announced holding it up and watching as part of it broke off and fell to the floor.
“Is that why you’re in a bad mood? Did something else go limp on your date last night?”
For a brief second I looked at Mark and thought about killing him, surely we could survive without Mark but then again he was writing some amazing lyrics lately.
“My date was fine, yes I got a shag as you so nicely put it earlier Gaz but I could see the pound signs in her eyes already so I won’t be repeating it”
“I don’t give a crap about all that, what about the other cakes? Tell me you got something more sturdy than flapjacks for us?”
“You’re fucking unbelievable Gaz, haven’t you heard a word I said?!”
“Yeah I heard it all, but there’s nothing I can do about it! Come on let me see that bag?” he grabbed the Whole Foods bag and proceeded to carefully remove the muffins and brownie’s, inspecting each one before placing them on the table. Grinning as they were all still in one piece and appeared to be edible.
“Don’t worry the cakes are fine” He let out a breath, mock wiping his brow to the annoyance of Jason who shook his head and wandered off mumbling something about tea.
After a few hours the others were getting fed up with Jason, he was being asked questions and answering with “whatever” then when he was pushed for an opinion he was snapping at them all.
“What do you think Jay, should we go with this or scrap it for that other track?”
“For the final time, I don’t really care but can we pick one and get on with it!” I exclaimed, my hand flying out and catching my tea which proceeded to spill all over me.
“Flippin ‘eck!”
“Jay mate, what’s really bothering you apart from the fact that it’s been the crappiest day in history?” Howard asked.
“That girl on the tube, I can’t get her out my head. She was gorgeous, prettiest smile I’ve ever seen. She got on and started chatting to a friend and I couldn’t take my eyes off her”
“Maybe you’ll see her on the tube again”
“Yeah, because she’d want to talk to the weirdo who gropes gay men on the tube!”
Gary let out a laugh and looked at across, for the first time that day a smile then a chuckle came from me. I had to laugh; I was fed up of feeling pissed off.
“Seriously though, she was gorgeous. Her name was Cassie”
“So you were listening in on her conversation?”
“No Mark, they were talking loudly, I couldn’t help overhear” I grinned.
“So did you overhear any other useful nuggets of information?”
“No I don’t think so...”
“Right so can we get back to work now without you biting our heads off?” Gary asked.
“Yeah I suppose we can...wait! She works in the Waterstone’s at Notting Hill Gate”
“There you go then simple, you have her name and where she works. Go in there and ask for her” Howard shrugged. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
“I can’t do that, she’ll recognise me and what happened was way too embarrassing!”
“Fine let her go then but either way can we get back to work now?!” Gary was getting frustrated and just wanted to get something done today, half the day was already gone.
(Contd.)
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Sun 11 Apr 2010, 7:14 pm
since 'sex for dummies' 
It's a good job he kept trying though 
